zOO bARNOLD: What Really Grinds My Gears!

Good Evening I'm Peter Griffin and welcome to another edition of 'what really grinds my gears.'

People and their bubble worlds. The Shire folk do it, so too do the East. You'll tour the otherside of the world but you won't dare travel out of your own suburbia! Next reality tv series, a bus load of eastern suburbians dropped off at Cabramatta as our camera's pursue them on their journey of survival in the heart of western Sydney.... Travelling is another thing, just because you did Europe does not mean your worldly and knowledgeable in life. Your still the ignoramus kook you were before you left, just now your impregnated with irritating stories.

Extravagant restaurants! Wow, you went to Che Che El Chop House, super. Sorry, where.. Oh, down at Oh La Frou Frou, wow!! Pffit, give me a schooner of belly wash an

d a feed at greasy spoon anyday. Sure I enjoy a good cook shack everynow and then too, but paying $42 for prawns and two pieces of asparagus, well, isn't that just spit on your neck kick you in the crotch fantastic! What's underneath those prawns, $40 bucks?

The positive spin. Yes I agree, life is a garden, dig it. But if I want to be antagonised for 5 mins, let me be. I know it is the Aussie way to find good in everything, but come on, a bird crapping on the side of my noggin, how is that good luck. Yes, I heard you, I am so lucky. Well seeing you think it is such a bonanza, here you go, what kind of karma will that give you. Sorted.

Girl on girl, wow, you kissed Stacey. Your so cool!... wait, sorry, I meant no, no your not, yea

h,sorry about that....Anyway. There are not many girls who haven't had some inverted participation. Just because 10 beefcakes chanted kiss until you and Stacey pecked for 1 second at the local disco tech is not something to go bragging around Metopolis about.... and those that do have a story worthy don't. Did I mention I hate people like you, sorry, where are my manners, I left that part out too.. Ehhem, fuck you and your cat.

Bono.... I know some people love him. In fact he's been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Ugh. U2's early stuff was good, but I guess I just don't really like my music and politics together. It just ends up sounding like I'm paying money to be whined at. And leather pants, really? You can't be taken seriously as political activist wearing them, no one notices the fact your shrinking your balls for world peace.

Oh and it was Movember last month... see! Yes, at times cheese stuck to it..