Is that a sex scar?

Kid's and alcohol.... yes folks it's a pubescent problem in today's society. It's not just the hangovers and the constant breach of the peace..No no no... just add some methanol moonshine for an emotional teen full of ramblings from I love you to reasons why your just another one against them in this world.

It's now unwritten law that my weekend will consist of a 2am wake up call from a pie-eyed melodramatic cousin. You see my predicament is I am forever in this 15 year old's debt, trying to find a way for him to pardon me for my crime. A moment which has left him scarred, literally. SORRY ( # 1,553 ).

No big deal really... Summers day at the beach back in 2000. Adam, 9 at the time and was in waste high water swimming when his miscreation of a dog hitched itself over his shoulders. As Adam stood up, this dogs paws slid down around his breadbasket and just like that, the over powering bearcat had him slightly bent in position 'ready to rumble'. So of course, to turn around and see Fido dry humping your 9 year old cousin is quite the showstopper... excuse me a minute...( play laugh track here )... sorry, just having flash backs!

What I did not know is while he was screaming out for my aid, the tail wagger, having such a merrymaking good time, was cutting it's claws into Adams chest and wounding him all the way down to his lower abdomen.

Six years on, he still has these sex scars and both he and I are reminded of this mournful period in his life for I was too busy falling over in howling laughter to help the lad out. I am apologetic... but really when you think about it, at 15 it's all about trying to impress the girls, what better way than with a scar! Footy wound...Motorbike crash... Anything is better than saying your flea bag dog did the dance of darkness with you 6 years ago.

Really you should really be thanking me, after all chicks dig scars! (Although not sure which ones?) So quit your sobbering tears, stop blaming me and start using this asset to your advantage and stealing some bases.... AND please, please, stop calling me at 2am! Actually you can help with the other 2am caller, start calling me on D-Trains ( Jabber ) phone, you have his number...

This image is for you Eliza Giddy - see, he still talks to me... hey can you cook me one of your cheese sangers?

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